‘Giuliana you can do this,’ I tell myself, suspended for the practice run of the show that I begged renowned erotic magician Julian to let me assist in.
He wanted a more experienced assistant for this show, his all-important London debut.
I have never had the pleasure, or the pain of wax play before, or fire.
Suspension is new to me.
But I really want this job, and I really want to feel how far I can take it, how far my limits can be stretched.
I have also never had anal sex before, so when this part is skipped during the practice run, I am nervous.
But there is no turning back now.
In front of the audience he raises me, naked, cold, in the contraption that has my legs and arms spread out, hanging in mid-air, no chance of escape now.
Fire and wax make contact with my skin, and I am extremely aroused.
I cannot hide the fear though, the anxiety building inside me at the anticipation of the anal penetration I know is coming.
My loyalty to Julian, my admiration of this man who stretches women beyond even their own expectations for the purpose of entertainment though, overrides even my sense of self-preservation.
Julian is also really very good at what he does…